Whistle
by Wild Blueberries
Summary: Reno, Elena and whistling. Some things should just not come in contact with each other. These are some of them. One-Shot


Not many people know I like to whistle. I mean, hello. Reno and whistling don't go in the same sentence. Reno and killing. Yes. Reno and the Turks yes. Reno and women. Definite yes. Reno and whistling. No. But it's true. The Prez knows that, the big guy knows that, the whole damn building knows that.

Yeah, laugh your ass off, but if ever meet ya, I'll shoot you. Let's get that straight. So, anyways. Just got back from blowing some guys head off. I'll spare you the details. Chicks don't like to hear about blood and guts and all that shit y'know? My suit was surpringly clean, I'll add. Even the secretary said so, but she has the hots for me, so I'm not sure if it counts. I'll ask Rude later.

Right. So I walk up to the lounge or whatever the hell it's called. Where the couches and shit are, you know that place. And I sit down, stretch my legs out, the whole nine yards. And I whistle. You know the song from the eights dwarves and Cinderella, or was it beauty and the frog? Shut up. The song's addictive and you know it. Say anything else and I swear you won't see the next sunrise.

So Blondie there sittin' on the chair probably pinning away for Tseng next to me. Quiet for once, I don't know. Guess Tseng told her off or something and she's having one of those girly moments. Yeah well, she wasn't quiet for long. She starts whistling the same thing I am. Holy shit, woman. She wants a bullet in her head or something. Then the whole friggen' room starts looking at her expecting me to whip out a gun and take her out. She's damn lucky she's a rookie, or else I tell ya, she would have been on the floor so fast- Tseng wouldn't have been too happy with that. Don't know what she sees in him, he's got eyes for the flower girl, Ancient, cetra thing, whatever the hell she is.

But anyways, the whole office is looking at me. I walk over there and plop down beside her. And the stupid girl's still whistling away, totally oblivious. Everyone else has their breath caught in their throat waiting for me to blow her head off. I think for a moment how exactly I want to humiliate her, but anything too extreme would get me pay docked or something. Tseng's got this thing about ladies rights or whatever.

I don't even know if she knows I'm there or if she's ignoring me; so I scoot a little closer and wait. Nothing. God, this girls got one hell of daydreaming thing or she's totally got ADD. I give her a moment to figure out what's going on, but she's not exactly brilliant here, so she never did figure it out. But hell, she's gonna be pissed later on.

So I grab whistling Dixie here, and pull her towards me and kiss her. The whistling stopped automatically, and I'm fairly sure I heard someone's pile of paper hit the ground. I think she's still in shock at the moment, but I don't really give a damn. I'm giving myself an estimated twenty seconds here before I get my ass kicked, so I plan on using it wisely. I'm pretty sure somewhere along the lines I tried getting my hand up her shirt but the damn uniform thing was so damn baggy you can't even get past all the friggen shirt.

Now, she's got this look on her face like someone just showed her own private porn stash or something. Or like she's never been kissed. I think I vaguely felt my eye twitch with that assumption. Yes. Ass-ump-tion. Reno does use words with more than two syllables. I let my tongue brush against her lips but that was as far as it went. Next think I know, I nearly get an elbow in the gut.

Luckily, Blondie's slow. So I catch before she even gets close and I somehow manage to twist her arm behind her back. I smirk and lean right into her face and start whistling again before absentmindly checking my watch while still having her arm behind her back, the hell's Rude? An image of him stalking Lockhart around enters my mind and I abruptly stop whistling. Eh. The rack on her ain't bad.

I steal one more quick kiss and I can feel her trying to punch me, but she's right handed. And the right hand's the one I've got. "Yo, 'Lena. Whistling is a one person thing. Do it again, and I'll shoot ya." She's in the stage right now where she can't tell if I'm joking or if I'm serious. To let you now, I'm joking. Just with a serious tone of voice. But anyways. She looks terrified for a moment and for some reason reminds me of a rabbit. You know the cute white ones? …Like the one I accidentally ran over last Friday. Don't look at me like that. It's not like I purposely ran over it. I'm a Turk, okay? I don't go giving burial rights to animals. Unlike 'Lena. God. She'd probably build a tombstone and everything.

I hear footsteps and immediately drop her arm and look up. Rude adjusts his sunglasses and gives me and odd look. Or as much as a look he gave. Can't tell much with sunglasses on twenty four-seven, you know? But hell, the chicks dig it. Need to get myself a pair. But shit, anyways.

"……."

Which translates in Rude talk to 'check your PHS.' So I do, and Blondie's still in shock. A message from the Prez. I turn to Blondie and smirk, getting up.

"Ciao, babe. Don't miss me too much, eh?" 

"GOD DAMMIT RENO!" She screeches. I swear, a banshee in the last life I tell ya. I duck, just narrowly missing a well aimed high heel. I whistled. How the hell does she run in those? I kick the door open and I'm free as a bird, babe.

Sure, she talks like there's no God damn tomorrow, and she cries over chick flicks and dead birds and all that cutesy little animal shit. But she's cute, and she throws a mean punch.

One day, I'll give her a proper kiss.

….

Tell her that, and I'll shoot ya.

Alright. My first FF7 fic. Don't blame me if Reno's OCC. I've only played the game up to the third disk and that was two years ago… and frankly, I remember nothing about it. Hopefully I didn't bomb it too badly?


End file.
